*wha-psh!* top o' the mornin' to ya ladies! my name is jacksepticeye and welcome back to "damn dog!" which is just the "guess the wikihow" game, which i... i don't know! i had so much fun with them last time, that i wanted to do another one of it. so, apologies if this is not what you're into, but i-i couldn't stop giggling at the last episode, so i wanted to do more. and it says at the top, that i have a score of nine and i have 6..56% correct.
which is not good! i should be better at this! but, i mean, look at the pictures!look at this one! sorry if i didn't explain the game properly, by the way. we... i think i did. but i'm supposed to guess what this is based on the picture and then based on, like, what comes out here. so they give me options of what to pick, and i have to try and match the picture with the thing down here. sorry, 'cause i did see some comments
saying that i-i didn't, like didn't really know what was going on. i thought i explained it properly, but just in case i didn't that's probably the best i can do for now, anyway. but i should've get in! i knew it! this one is... "how to seduce your boyfriend with bright, shiny teeth" "how to make your boyfriend kiss you" not bad. "how to refuse a kiss" that is not how to refuse a kiss! i don't wanna kiss you...
"how to increase your ejaculate" "how to talk to girls as a teen boy" okay, you do not look like teenagers! you look like adult people. uhm... so i'mma gonna guess "how to make your boyfriend kiss you" that's right! of course! i know it, you just... you flash him the pearly whites. flash him-
flash him a little bit of the ol' baby blues! and then he's putty in your hands. ahm. right. oooh, god! *laughs* "how to smoke weed and pretend like everything's ok" these dudes look blazed as fuck! umm...
right, okay. what are the options? "how to refuse a kiss" okay? "how to act when your boyfriend keeps paying for everything" ohoho! boyfriend, you spoil me! "how to have fun without friends" "how to channel" how... how to youtube channel? how to channel your inner demons?
ok, this is a bit weird cause it's "how to have fun without friends." but you have friends together. how to refuse a kiss- that can't be it. that can't be how to refuse a kiss. ahaha! no thanks! ahaha! that- no. who are you? tommy wiseau? okay, let's assess the situation.
it looks like they have a table in front of them but it looks like there's a bean bag chair behind them. so, i was like "oh, maybe they're in restaurant and he's paying for everything!" but... that's not what this looks like. "how to have fun without friends" *clicks on it* nope, "how to act when your boyfriend keeps paying for everything". it was that one! that was gonna be what i was gonna pick, but then i saw the bean bag and i was like "there's no way a restaurant is like that".
how is that "how to act when your boyfriend pays for everything"? just laugh? close your eyes and smile?( terrible advice! how to be morpheus from the matrix? what the fuck is this? "how to show your husband that you love him." i love you honey! check out these sick spoons!
"how to get anime eyes" that's racist. "how to do laughter yoga" "how to make a guy that is mad at you like you again through text." well, first off...no because that's not through text unless you text him a picture of your dumbass with spoons over your eyes umm... how to do...laughter yoga? what is that?
downward dog-ahahahaha i don't know "how to get anime eyes" please don't tell me it's this oh my god... "how to get anime eyes" you mean the big gigantic eyes that are super shiny oh..my..god.. no! no, wikihow, no these are real wikihow articles, by the way
i think... i'm pretty fucking sure they are yeah "how to get anime eyes" can i just, like, open this? yup enlarge eyes with make up what fucking step was this? to get anime eyes. let's scroll down through. where's the spoons?
tighten your eyes with tea spoons "keep two teaspoons in the refrigerator or a cold cellar-" cold cellar!? " put the bowl of the two spoons..." "...your eyes have warmed up..." "this pulls the skin around your eyes tight, temporarily making you look wide-eyed" no! fucking hell what is this? how to touch et's weird fucking hand?
*lip smack* "how to tell if someone is high"...um excuse me, are you high? just tap them on the hand and ask them. "how to respectfully decline sex" *laugh* no *laughs* i don't want any. "how to spot a catfish" "how to accept your boyfriend's interest in pornography" *pats hand* there there sweetheart. it's fine. i trust you. oh god...
i don't know which this is "how to respectfully decline sex" "how to accep"– *laugh* "how to accept your boyfriends interest in pornography" how?! how?! what fucking step is that? i -there's a lot of shame in these pictures. yes. a lot of xs "discuss your next steps." it was that! it was the whole, like, hand on the
hand on the other hand going, "are you okay? do you need to talk?" about your fetish.. that is shoving pine cones up your asshole it's okay we all have our problems is this how to suck a one inch dick? "how to stop a sneeze." "how to speak finnish." "how to raise a child." "how to capture" *french accent* "joie de vivre."
wha-ha-hat? "how to stop a sneeze." this has to be stop a sneeze. it's not how to speak finnish. is that how finnish people, people speak ...one inch from a table with their tongue out is that how it sounds? apparently finnish is, like, one of the hardest languages to learn... ...how to speak *lip smack* "how to raise a child" put their head one inch from the table.
tell them to stick their tongue out and bite down hard. because this is gonna fucking hurt timmy. bam!!! "how to capture joie de vivre" i-da-it's not that. it has to be stop a sneeze cause you're you're over the front and you have. you're biting your tongue and you're once inch from a table so it's either sneeze, bite your tongue, and smack your face off a table or just don't sneeze at all. your choice. that's right. *laughs*
what is the title of this * laughs* what the fuck is that face?! oh my god.... listen buddy. she's with me now. her heart is with me. i-i don't know how to access this situation "how to be a hipster girl." "how to survive in a hotel." "how to stop binge drinking." or "how to keep a straight face." well...uh...heh is that what you'd call a straight face?
listen here girlfriend. that's a fucking straight duck face right there. "how to survive in a hotel" i saw a spider under that bed. it's okay...i gotchu. "how to stop binge drinking" i'm gonna say "how to keep a straight face". "how to be a hipster girl." please don't tell me it's that. "how to stop binge drinking."...
*whispers* what? ha- how? how? what is this step? what step? makes you make a duck face he's fucking doing it as well "how to stop binge drinking." play table tennis as a buff, bad...badass bastard. it...ah ..what..ah..what? where the fuck is the one i need? cry and sweat profusely out of your head because...
quitin' binge drinkin' is apparently very hard find a support group...ooh... oh..eh..yeah.. that makes sense then. it's my bad for not knowing ya... "how to nuke the cat people. " that's what i'm gettin' from this picture. there's a lot of stuff goin' on, it's like. what movie to watch? actually that could be what it is cause there's speaker and tv in the background it's–i'm assuming this is your thought
i know, but to me it looks like you're trying to figure out how to nuke cat people "how to find a husband when the women out number men in your country." nuke the women? is that what you're thinking? "how to have jehovah's witnesses go away." nuke them?! "how to stop staring at a girl's boobs" "how to get anime eyes." no we've gone over the anime eyes. sometimes i think that these are gonna be easy to figure out.
i'm like...oh...yeahh it's gonna be obvious when i see th-the option. "how to stop staring at a girl's boobs." think about nukes "how to stop.." "how to have jehovah's witnesses go away. think about nuking them. that- *stutters* that i get, it's an explosion but that's very much a nuke. the whole mushroom cloud thing. they're always depicted, like, with the shaft at the explosion and the mushroom cloud.
nuclear explosions are a lot like penises "how to find a husband when the women out number the men in your country." oh..please please tell me it's this *clicks* "how to have jehovah's witnesses go away i had... hey!! it's me! what am i doin' in a wikihow article? i have to figure out what this one is i have to see where the nuke comes in
"know what they believe. jehovah's witnesses consider themselves part of the.." "...christian religion, but christians do not recognize..." "witnesses believe that- that we are living in the 'end times'" so that's armageddon. i was supposed to extrapolate that i don't even feel bad. playing something like 'true or false' when i get them wrong i'm like... oh i kinda feel bad for that one cause i should've known that this...not so much
this is just obscure as all hell. how to stop fapping *laughs* that has to be that one...he's on his computer with his left hand and he's like "fuck!" "rightie is the one that..done all... did all the work. how am i supposed to scroll and browse?" oh..god and the red aler- the red alert is going off. this is the boner alarm. "how to live in the dungeon." "how to impress a classmate." "how to become a teen hacker." "how to deal with a sarcastic person." are you gonna be a teen hacker? i don't know... my fapping one seemed to be a bit better than whatever this is gonna be
"how to live in a dungeon." doesn't seem like he lives in a dungeon. seems like he lives in a very nice place. "how to impress a classmate." *mumbles* "how to become a teen hacker." that's right! handcuff yourself to the table and then hack with one hand moving on...uhh how to be a blow up doll
this is what i like about this series. it gets my improv goin'. you just see something and immediately you have to come up with a funny scenario that's goin' on. how to catch flies in your mouth. how to be solid snake. how to be an npc in solid snake- - in metal gear solid. solid snake is not a game. "how to act silly with your boyfriend." "how to develop common sense." that's exactly how you develop common sense. huh?
*laugh* actually, that could be it. this could be a person acting dumb. cause they have no common sense. oh shit. "how to be a good husband." "how to act silly with your boyfriend." i'm gonna go with how to develop common sense. "how to win a race." that's the face she's making. that's what i'm gettin' from this. you don't get a whole lot of information from this.
that's surprise, shock, and gasping common sense just open your mouth. is that what you're- is the the message you're saying? that's a terrible message! to be sending the kids! "how to be silly with your boyfriend." just open your mouth and look shocked. huh..so silly. i know, there's not much i can- *see picture* hel- oh lala hello! what is this?!
"how to discuss bar-barack obama intelligently." yeah strip down into your briefs and put on a bowtie. how to be a chippendale's dancer is what i would have guessed. "how to become a pastafarian." what's a pastafarian? i have never heard the term pastafarian before. pastafarians are the people who... ...religiously believe in the deity that is the flying spaghetti monster wasn't the flying spaghetti monster deity made up as a joke?
to be like, oh if i believed in a flying spaghetti monster would you too? really? a pastafari- well that can't be it. anyway. we've deduced it down that it's not those two. "how to deal with strict christian parents." "how to get a gay male friend for girls." i'm just gonna go with this one. because it seems like the most appropriate given the picture that's on the screen. because "how to deal with strict christian parents." screw you, parents. i'm a stripper now
that actually could be it. no. i'm right. "how to get a gay male friend for girls." i don't know how that correlates. i don't know where that fits in. i need to figure out why is there a wikihow on this. i told you. wikihow has everything. "meet gay men. look around at work , at school...anywhere." "if those outlets don't seem to work," "grab some of your fabulous girlfriends and head to a gay bar for a night of dancin'". "after the dance, strike up a conversation and grab a cocktail."
"introduce you–" sending a terrible message.. wikihow shame on you. okay, we're gonna go with the last one. oh my god! cindy! this tire swing is burnin' my asshole ahhaha! it's great. isn't it? oh..my..god. what in the f*ck could this be? ummmm...
er..uh how to be casey neistat. uhh... how to be winston from overwatch "how to put your arm around a girl." put her up on a tire swing and get her to sit in your lap. that'll make putting your arm around her much easier. "how to support the arts." "how to make yourself famous on youtube." and "how to be edgy." this has to be "how to make yourself famous on youtube." because i don't understand it. *laughs*
and it's silly and obnoxious and stupid. *random noise* a big problem with youtube these days. everyone's trying to go viral. everyone's trying to be... everyone's trying to be a meme. everyone's trying to make their next video be a viral hit. that's gonna get them all the views and they're gonna be silly. and they're gonna be all over the place. everyone everyone's gonna be talking about them what happened to the people that wanted to make a community on youtube?
what happened to-? not that this is actually going to be the answer i'm just. this sparked my brain. what happened to the people who wanted to do youtube just to make people laugh and smile and actually... ...just enjoy their time and... ...make the-make it feel like you're actually making a dent in the world like i-i make videos because i wanna make people laugh. i wanna entertain people. i don't-i don't suddenly want to be like everyone's talking point like, oh!
everyone in the world's gonna be talking about. did you see the video that jack uploaded? yeah, it was so meme-y wasn't it? yeah. i don't wanna become a meme i don't wanna become any of that stuff. i just wanna... i mean if that's–if that happens as a byproduct of that, whatever. but i feel like there's better ways to do youtube than just to be viral this is a tangent brought upon by nothing this is just something that's been in my brain for a while. i was wrong.
this is "how to be edgy."" so that whole rant that i just had right now... ...was for no reason. but again getting my thoughts out "how to be edgy." jump up in a tire swing with your girlfriend and just put on sunglasses... ...and laugh til you look like fuckin' baboons. edgy! if you wanna be edgy. isn't the stereotype supposed to be like... ...put on, like, a dog collar with a bunch of spikes on it. become reaper from 'overwatch'
i've made two 'overwatch' references from this picture alone. anyway! thank you guys! so much for watchin' this episode. i love this! this is super fun! for what it is and how silly and stupid and... ...straightforward it is. it's super fun! it's like the whole 'would you rather' and 'will you'–'will you press the button' type of scenarios.
just it's super simplistic... idea but i love the type of video that it produces. the type of commentary that comes out of it. the types of comments that come out of it and everything. it's so much fun...ummm... let me know if you want to see more of these cause i-i love them. and there's probably a bajillion more wikihows that we can get to. my score went down to...or my score is 14 and it went down to 51 % i'm not even ashamed of that. i'm not even... like, nothing is making me think bad about that because this is silly.
i-i don't get how half of these correlate to the pictures that they are. but anyway! so much for watchin' this episode if you liked it. punch that like button in the face like a boss!!!!!!! and! *deep voice* high fives all around wha-psh! whapsh! well thank you guys! and i'll see all you dudes!! *super high pitched*in the next video!!!
*outro music* just gonna stay like this. forever. i'm frozen.
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